Why I'm Friends With My Clothes...And You Should Be Too.

Here's a little insight into how I look at my closet (and maybe this will reframe how you think about yours…). When I open up my closet doors in the morning, or to get ready for date night, or a girl's dinner, I am expecting to see my friends. Friends who make me feel like a warm hug when I'm around them, friends that want to make dinner plans at my favorite cafe and chat into the wee hours over a glass of wine, then peppermint tea.  Friends that let me feel like myself and accept me for who I am, flaws and all.

This.  This is what I expect out of my clothes in my closet.  I want my clothes, those very clothes I reach for daily, to be my positive influences throughout my day.  The clothes that say, “YES! Take ME with you on your vacation, I definitely want to go to Portugal with you!” Or, “Girl, I'd love to try that new restaurant too, I heard they have a delicious Steak Frites!”   My clothing should give me the energy that makes me feel better just having been in and around them.

Once in a while, I let a straggler in, I make a friend mistake, or a friend comes and a friend goes, without a lot of depth to the friendship (but I try with all my might to make sure I'm not filling up my closet with these friends…they extract a lot of mental energy).  Often this happens when I lose sight of myself, my values, who I really am, because I get caught up in the “fun” of that friend.  I realize after lots of back and forth, that that friend isn't actually bringing me any value, just kind of making me feel not great about myself.  Any you know what?  I'm responsible for who I'm letting in.  I've decided I need to protect my mental and emotional space (yes, I'm talking both clothes and friends), so I'm allowed to be picky about who I'm opening myself (and my closet) up to.

Here's a few vetting questions I ask and maybe you can borrow them and ask of the clothes in your own closet,

“What do you bring to this friendship?”

“Can I even carry a conversation with you, or do we have nothing to talk about?”

“Are you making me feel like the best version of myself or making me feel like I'm not enough when we're together?"  

We should be picky about who we're letting into the friend group, to make sure they all play well together, get along, value depth & connection.   Are you starting to see how the closet and friends can be interchangeable here?  If so, the lesson is a valuable one.  One that if we put into play, start really vetting, being a bit more picky, there's an ownership of what we're putting on our bodies.  Let's start to curate a closet of friends that support us as the amazing people we are.  Make sense?  Hit reply and share your thoughts with me.

If you’re not sure how to start making friends with your closet, hit the button above and see how The Signature Style Method brings you closer to understanding your personal style, so you can finally get clarity about what’s in your closet.