Becoming a Parent: Honest Thoughts on Our Next Chapter

Welp, 2018 has thrown us into a tailspin, Clint and I are becoming parents!  We found out in December that we have a little girl due in July.  Readers beware, this is a true and honest attempt to unveil all the feels and thoughts on becoming a parent.  My hope is to have you catch a glimpse into what I can only describe as the ride of our lives.  No amount of advice (unwarranted or wished upon) can prepare us for what is about to be the beginning of the next big chapter in our lives.  We have no idea what we're in for.

moses basket | plum & sparrow

Thoughts on Becoming a Parent

I am (and have been told) pretty comfortable around children.  I started babysitting at the age of 9, started my own neighborhood Babysitter's Club (having read all the books, I was a self-proclaimed babysitting expert), and was both an elementary and middle school teacher for eight years.  Despite being surrounded by children, something in me never fully committed to the idea of bringing a child into the world.

I met my husband twelve years ago.  In that time we've dated, married, traveled, moved internationally, and have both been on the same page about having kids.  We didn't prescribe to a certain relationship time/family script.  Kids weren't the thing we needed after we got married, we decided we'd be fine with our without them.  For us, we've been happy, fulfilled, traveling, and I've been building up my business.  Over the years we received lots of questions about our fertility; was I thinking of freezing my eggs considering my age (37), etc.  Which in turn left me thinking,  Clint and I are quite happy. A child isn't the missing piece, we aren't missing any pieces, really.  I wonder how many people without kids deal with this?

Maintaining My Identity

For me, being a woman means a lot of things.  But my identity has never been defined by whether or not I would have kids.  Not that I didn't want to be a mother, I just didn't need motherhood to make me a happier person.  If I were to spout off a list of 'who I ams', becoming a parent as an identifier wasn't ranking high up on my list.  I identify strongly with being a women, an entrepreneur, a traveller, a friend, a coffee lover, who just happens to be adding this little to our family.  Blessed we are, welcoming this amazing little being into our world.  But I want to add becoming a parent to the list, without losing my other identities.

Crazy questions constantly pop into my head, 'will I go through postpartum depression?', 'will I lose identity as a traveler, woman, entrepreneur, having to spend so much time and attention on this small little girl?', 'how much screen time will we allow?', 'will we show her face on social media?', 'will she tell me she hates me when she's a teenager?' Oh God.  Really, it's these future realities that keep me up at night.

Pregnancy Through the First Trimester

I liken pregnancy and becoming a parent to prepping for a trip to the moon.  My body, in all its crazy amazement, feels like it's wearing a spacesuit of sorts.  It's growing and changing in the strangest of ways, building up for the flight of my life.  Then there's the actual celestial trip that you've been told so much about.  The majority of our friends have already gone to the moon, so they're telling us in one way or the other, what space snacks to take, what meals on the moon are like, and how being weightless feels.  And even though we're trying to picture this feeling of floating in the lack of atmosphere, until we've actually placed our own feet on the moon dust, and taken a picture of earth from the moon, we have no idea what we're in for.  

I don't know how lots of soon-to-be moms get through their nine (I've heard really, it's almost 10!) months of pregnancy but I have been learning to take this one day at a time.  Accepting the fact that life will never be as it was, in both fantastic and crazy ways.  I'm humoring myself with satiric online articles from women who have a pragmatic view (and have a sense of humor) of what this journey is like.  I have one book that I've gotten a hold of, thanks to a friend's recommendation, that's a rare pregnancy read.  I figure the more I try to 'plan' becoming a parent, the farther away from the target I'll be.  So I'm letting this roll out how it may, embracing this newfound little being inside with simple blithe curiosities.

The Future of My Business & Blog

What will change in my life and business? Everything and nothing.  Do I plan to work up until I'm due? Absolutely.  I love what I do!  Will I still blog about style?  1000%.  Will it involve all baby and maternity style?  Nope.  Will I try to integrate my current style into my ever changing body?  Yes.  I don't want to spend copious amounts of money on pieces of clothing that I will only wear for half of the pregnancy. (However, I have already purchased a handful of new supportive bras...that's a new experience...) I will blog about being smart and foolish in my buying practices so that I can help women also navigate the crazy world of maternity style.  But I'm not going to pile it on.  I'm still going to go about my daily practices of what I love to do.  Help other women with their style woes, all the while, learning through mine.

Thank you for following along with this blind journey of mine!  I welcome any and all thoughts on womanhood, motherhood, and just life with or without kids in general.  We're all in this together, one way or another...